Jeremy loved big trucks. One time we went to visit our friends in Canada and Adrian was a truck driver and he took Jeremy and his son on a day run. Jeremy never forgot that. He couldn't get over how different everything looked from "way up there" and talked about the air horn and the breaks and the log book and all kinds of stuff that happened that day. It was always a dream of his to one day drive one of those big things. That was a dream that never materialized for him, but it was a dream that he kept alive regardless.

I wonder sometimes why it is that we let our dreams die. If we don't see any immediate answers then we tend to give up and settle for the way life is. The way life is, especially if you are working at a job that doesn't interest you, is seldom something that will give you the excitement of getting up and going about your day. But a dream, that will give you something to work at.

It is just like a day you are planning on going on vacation. I can hardly remember what those days are like anymore. But you get everything packed and you get to bed and you are so excited you can't hardly sleep. Most of the time you get up and take off early just because you can't wait to get started. That is what it is like to work at what you love. I haven't done that yet, but I know that day is coming.

Meanwhile, I'll try to keep that dream alived inside, just as Jeremy always kept his dreams alive even though he wasn't able to accomplish most of them. He was a bright kid, and that was what bothered me the most of his entrence into the system. They stiffled his potential. I hope to some day establish a new community for the mentally ill that encourages instead of stiffles their abilities.