Here it is, nearing the end of a year. Last year at this time I was looking forward to a new year. I knew the next year would be better. And now, I'm hoping the next year will be better. I never could have even imagined losing my son. Little did I know that within two months of hoping for a better year, I would be experiencing the worst year of my life. The thought came to me last night, I'm always looking forward to things being better, but if I do that, I'll never take the time to say, "Thank you God" for this time. If I live for the future, I miss out on the blessings of the day. I've had the habit of looking for big things, and missing the little blessing that happen every day.

I truly do hope that next year will bring many blessings for me, but I'm going to try to look forward to those blessings every morning when I get up. Jeremy always longed to be with his Grandma and his Lord, and now he is enjoying both of them. His dream when he was on earth was to spread the good news that Jesus died on the cross for sinners like himself and that he arose again so that like Jesus we could rise again and live with him forever.

I sometimes wonder what use my life has, and I know Jeremy wondered the same thing. I know Jeremy's life touched a lot of people, as messed up as it was. I only hope that mine will do the same.