Good intentions

Well, I had good intentions yesterday, and the day really did go well, but today, I collapsed both physically and emotionally. I had a wave of grief wash over me that I haven't had since I walked away from the grave a year ago. It took about a half hour before I could feel my face or my arms. It took longer for the feeling to come back in my hands but it is almost back now. But then I got up and walked out to the van and drove over to meet my friends at the restaurant. I don't care how many times I get knocked down, I'm not staying down.

I found out later that when I was at the lowest point, my former pastor and his wife were thinking and praying for me. Don't ever think that your thoughts and prayers aren't needed, you never know when your thoughts and words will pick someone up that needs the strength at the time. I had done so well yesterday that I had no clue that the grief was going to hit me so hard today. One thing I've learned through this all and that is that grief has no timeline. You can't rush it, and you aren't in control of it, God is. All you can do is get back up and move on afterward.

I'm tired right now, so I think I'll take a nap. Next time, hopefully I'll be able to write about some pleasant memories.