What do you do when you hit that one year anniversary? Most people think by that time you should be over your grieving part and heading into a brighter future. Maybe they are right. All I know is that the transition isn't easy. But the longer you wait to make that change the harder it is going to be. So as I enter my one year anniversary, I am going to attempt to make it a rite of passage. I know that as long as my focus is on missing him, the more I miss him. If I think of his life and what we did together and thank God for giving me 33 years with him I feel better about it. I know that the passion for life isn't there, but sometimes if you fake it you make it. Just like if you don't feel like smiling but you smile anyway sometimes you actually feel like smiling. "Just do it." is a familiar saying, and I guess that is one thing I will have to work on. Even though my heart isn't in it, I'll just have to do it, and then maybe I'll feel better for doing it. If I work at helping someone else and get my eyes off myself and my loss then maybe I'll be helping myself.

I don't have a whole lot of available time, but if I could volunteer somewhere that would be a good start. I know that I like to sing in the choir and that is all good, and I got the grief group, but besides work, there is nothing I do. If I took that first step, and volunteered somewhere I think it might motivate me to get up and get going in the mornings. The question is where. At the library, hospitals, nursing homes, soup kitchen, what? I'll have to think on that. And if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.